Turning it Around

The world is always revolving and life continues with each passing day. I can’t imagine not living a day to the fullest, yet every so often, a negative experience threatens a positive outlook.

How do I turn a negative into positives? What does one do to overcome a defeat? I’ve procrastinated about writing and revisions. I thought this was due to the writer’s block, but it’s not. I’m sure everyone deals with a decrease in imagination, a hindrance in creativity, a loss of inspiration in his or her own way to get through it.

The procrastination is a result of my personal demons. Dealing with self-doubt is a constant demon of mine. It’s the lingering fear that my next project won’t be as good as, or better than my first piece of work. I am very aware of the fact we can’t please everyone. Yet deep in my subconscious is a pestering desire for approval.

I’m human, and it’s natural to seek acknowledgement and praise. Let’s face it: we all want a pat on the back for a job well done. Of course, the letdown of disapproval and criticisms makes it difficult to acknowledge and move on. Similar to a fall, most people get up and brush off the dirt, some cry until help arrives, others will sulk until someone kisses the boo-boo and then everything is fine.

It’s not easy to brush off a negative comment. For me, the remark hides in the recesses of my mind, only to appear at the worst possible moment to drag me down further. Like a demon taunting me, “You’re not good enough.” The laughter and ridicule echoes in my head, and grows louder with each teasing word of “fail” mentioned.

Again, I’m looking for that evasive light at the end of a dark tunnel. I’m mustering the strength to rise up after a fall. Earth is still revolving and my thoughts are swirling along with it.

I can’t please everyone. Instead, I’ll aim to satisfy my need for expression. So I decide to just write. What better way to evolve just like the world around me. I’m acknowledging my fears and discovering ways to face them. I am refocusing on the goal of writing for my family, the original inspiration for this journey as a writer (even if it’s part time).

 “Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along”

~ AAR

Move_Along_(The_All-American_Rejects_album_-_cover_art)

It’s probably coincidental or perhaps it’s not. Many concerts were airing on AXS TV this past weekend. The All-American Rejects’ performance was the first I viewed. I’ve always had a soft spot for musicians, but Tyson Ritter (vocals, bass, and piano) motivated me to watch the rest of the show. AAR performed without fear of “boos” from the crowd.

Tyson Ritter made me giggle with his sense of humor in between sets. Now the music is drowning out the demons inside my head. The riffs and hooks are stomping the negatives into the ground. I’m still standing as the encouraging lyrics urge me to “move along.”

So I’ll turn my frown into a smile. I’ll make a light to get me through the end of a dark tunnel. I’ll get up from a fall; who cares if my clothes are stained with dirt. I’ll take the criticism and work hard to do better each time. I may not get a few pats on the back, but maybe I’ll receive a couple of thumbs up instead.

The world is revolving, life is continuing, and I want to change my low points into turning points.

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

How do you deal with negativity? How will you keep evolving?

Thanks for reading and enjoy the song.  

Advertisements

About Lisa Malabanan

I am a graduate of Rutgers College of Nursing and work as a Professional Registered Nurse in the field of Perinatology. I currently live in the Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania with my husband and two children. At the age of six, I discovered piano and classical music. A variety of music genres influenced my life through the years, and I’m passing on a love of the arts to my daughter and son. Reading fiction is my escape from the chaos and stress of a demanding yet rewarding profession. For me, writing transcends the diversion of a good book. The experience is like commuting on a New York City subway; diverse people enter and exit the scene, sometimes delays and derailment occur during creativity, and a train of thought is missed or passed over on occasion. In the end, an arrival at my destination is what I hope to accomplish, and I invite readers to take that ride with me. View all posts by Lisa Malabanan

One response to “Turning it Around

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: