The Many Faces of Fear

It’s been a couple of weeks since October past. Besides work and other obligations, I spent a lot of time watching Halloween specials with my daughter. We are big fans of Ghost Adventures Crew. Basically, we enjoyed scaring ourselves silly about the unknown and unexplained.

My daughter carved this humorous pumpkin

My daughter carved this humorous pumpkin

Many people celebrate this yearly festivity of pumpkin carving, trick-or-treating, costumes and costume parties, playing pranks, telling scary stories, watching horror films, or visiting a haunted attraction. This time of season is the start of me getting fat from candy and the upcoming winter holidays. The overindulging scares me for obvious reasons: I’m vain about my appearance.

So why do I like getting scared around Halloween? What is the allure of horror movies?

I don’t do well with horror films. The thought of evil or demonic stuff bothers me. Perhaps I relate to the frightening causes which lead to the unthinkable.

I’m not talking about the gruesome murders or terrifying hauntings. I am referring to fear in general. This is a common emotion felt by everyone, and not just around the Halloween season. The dark, sickness and disease, loneliness, failure, losing control, regret, falling in love or out of love are some examples that make others afraid.

Maybe not telling someone a truth from fear of hurting his/her feelings or not seeking an unbiased opinion from fear of a negative answer, growing older, rejection, switching to an unfamiliar setting or being uprooted from a comfortable environment is scary for most.

Having to face my own demons is a great fear of mine. I can’t run away, these demons will chase me forever if I don’t confront or conquer them. I’m afraid of the examples mentioned above, especially regret and failure. Nobody wants to live a lifetime full of regrets, and no one wants to feel defeated.

Change is stressful, and refusing to adjust is damaging. This can often lead to regret and defeat. If one doesn’t acknowledge a change, this can result in despair. I have recently experienced another setback in my life. It’s an ongoing problem that doesn’t have an easy solution. Yet I must resolve the issue and deal with the consequences.

Life has its share of wonderful moments, but on the downside, it is full of stress. Living is stressful because it’s hard to simply survive. How one deals with the bullshit determines one’s quality of life in my opinion.

Some things may never change. Someone may never return a favor or express gratitude. Not everyone feels any obligation to follow the same values or morals I believe in. Not ever hearing the words “I’m sorry” from the person who hurt me the most is an unsettling reality. That fact is a major disappointment, but a person can’t change somebody who doesn’t want to. So why dwell over it.

Change is inevitable, it’s a part of life and growth. If one allows for an adjustment, the transformation and results are often positive. Never mind about that someone who remains stagnant. I should not let a person’s shortcomings affect me, or bring me down. Live in the present and look forward to a promising future. Letting go of a painful past helps in healing a tortured soul.

I hope to live a full life, yet I’m sad about having a handful of regrets. I can’t alter my past mistakes, but I refuse to be defeated by them. Embracing life’s changes, and accepting the fact few people won’t change is part of facing and defeating my demons. It’s a step towards resolving the conflicts inside my soul.

Life may be stressful, but it might become easy if I just live it for myself.
~ Robert Brault ~

~ Robert Brault ~

I hope sharing this bit of my reality helps you out and thanks for reading. Since many of my posts are music related, I want to end with a song. Imagine Dragons has one that I particularly connect to. It’s called “Demons.” Enjoy…

What are your fears and have you conquered them?


About Lisa Malabanan

I am a graduate of Rutgers College of Nursing and work as a Professional Registered Nurse in the field of Perinatology. I currently live in the Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania with my husband and two children. At the age of six, I discovered piano and classical music. A variety of music genres influenced my life through the years, and I’m passing on a love of the arts to my daughter and son. Reading fiction is my escape from the chaos and stress of a demanding yet rewarding profession. For me, writing transcends the diversion of a good book. The experience is like commuting on a New York City subway; diverse people enter and exit the scene, sometimes delays and derailment occur during creativity, and a train of thought is missed or passed over on occasion. In the end, an arrival at my destination is what I hope to accomplish, and I invite readers to take that ride with me. View all posts by Lisa Malabanan

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